Breaking

In September it will be 3 years that we have been in TN. Jon and I have been on a strange journey ever since. We truly felt called to do so from God. So after nearly 3 years we still are trying to figure out,"Why TN?" We have surely felt HIS blessing in many ways but in other areas just feel completely lost. Like, "Ok, now what." At this point we feel bled...Like we don't know what to do. We have been bleeding over an issue now for nearly 3 years. So now what!! God does things for HIS reasons. Sometimes we know what they are and sometimes we don't. God has given us glimpses of why HE is doing what HE is doing...

Our eyes have been open to a lot of things. Things that I took for granted. Things I thought were a given. Things that were non-negotiable that are for sure negotiable now when HE opened my eyes. HE has stripped me of my pride many a times over the last 3 years.

But this is the fight. This is the burden we bear. God has not chosen us to fight other battles that I know others are fighting. God choose Jon and I to fight this one. So we will fight it for HIS glory.

When I think back to all we have gone through and all we have fought for. I will take it. In the whole grand scheme of things this is burden. I will take it over losing my life, my daughter, my marriage. Which is all that could have been gone and taken from us. On Christmas 2006. I nearly died in an ER while pregnant with Makenlee. I think back to that day so often and truly am thankful God spared me. He healed me and our baby girl. God did a miracle that day and many days that followed to show HIS hand.

When we are faced with the situations we all go through. All of it is a choice. We can choose to do it alone or with HIM. You can ask God, "But why." He will answer and it may be what you want to hear and what you may not want to hear but HE always answers. HE is always there. that is what I take comfort in.